How To Win Friends & Influence People

What's there to say about this book? It's one of the most famous self-help books ever written, and for good reason. I make it a point to read it at least once a year, and you should, too. Here are my personal key takeaways:

• A person's name is their favorite word - use it to make an impression

I've made it a habit to really focus on memorizing names when I meet new people. Yes, it's challenging, but it's also something most people don't bother doing. When you remember and use someone's name, it shows a level of respect and attention that immediately sets you apart.

• Smile

A smile is universal - it works across any language or culture to communicate warmth and friendliness without saying a word. Similar to remembering names, I make it a point to smile when meeting people for the first time. Think about it - new people have so little information to judge you on, so I always try to combine using their name with a genuine smile. These first few seconds set the tone for the entire relationship.

• Show respect for others' opinions, even when you disagree

This has been crucial in my management experience. When someone shares an idea or perspective, I always take a moment to acknowledge their contribution before responding. Even if I disagree, I'll say something like, "I appreciate you sharing that." It's amazing how this small gesture keeps people engaged and willing to contribute. Once people feel their ideas are shut down or dismissed, they stop sharing altogether - and that's how you kill innovation and engagement in a team. This even impacts people with whom you're not communicating directly. Imagine seeing a manager shut down some else's idea, inevitably it'll stifle communication across the whole team.

• Success isn't zero-sum

This might be Carnegie's most powerful insight - that helping others succeed actually creates more opportunities for your own success. It's not about splitting a fixed pie; it's about making the pie bigger through collaboration and mutual support. I've found this mindset particularly valuable in business relationships - when you genuinely focus on helping others achieve their goals, they naturally want to help you achieve yours.

This concept dovetails with the Zig Ziglar quote I also love "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want."